Every tribe, every tongue, every nation...

Every time, and it never fails, that I see young children from different nations I can't help but think about the impact that they are going to make. The impact that they will make on the people around them and ultimately their home country as they develop into the leaders that God has called them to be. Getting the opportunity to share the love of Christ with children from many different nations and backgrounds on Saturday was one of the most precious things that I have ever had the chance to do.

Thinking about the event during the week and how I could prepare for it was nothing compared to how the Holy Spirit and God's love was able to prepare me once I arrived at the church. I had to let every worry and anxiety about working with children and handling them fall to the wayside. And when I did... I was able to just love them. Right away, I found a friend. A little girl from Nepal came up to me and told me about how one of the boys was teasing her. I took her hand and invited her to sit with me. As we listened to the directions, she braided my hair. I felt like I had become part of the community. The kids were so open, and eager to learn about Jesus. I smiled and laughed as a young boy responded to the fact that we would be "walking where Jesus walked" during the guided tour with, "On water?!"

And throughout the day I felt the Holy Spirit welling up inside of me, joy bursting within me. These are the leaders of the world, the next generation; young Pauls, Davids and Marys; revolutionists, world-changers. These are the children of promise.

1,2,3...

Hearing the voice of God...

something beautiful, unique, and often seen as difficult.

As rain patters on the ground and birds chirp in waking, I am reminded of God's promises. Swooping carefree from one branch to another, they sing a song of praise. I want to be carefree like the sparrow, with a natural spring of praise overflowing from my heart.

I was reminded the other day not to overcomplicate things. Sometimes I get to the point of frustration in trying to hear from God, or just feel distracted. It is in the stillness of my mind that He is able to speak the loudest.

"Be still and know that I am God, " He says with great care. (Psalm 46:10)

It has been 3 days here at YWAM, but I am learning a lot. I am so grateful for this opportunity to rest in God and to have such a great family to encourage me here. I know that God is working on me with seeing Him as my perfect and loving Father that I can run to at any time and with so much more, and I am so glad that I can already see my confidence building. I keep getting the image of sitting on His lap. Him holding me close. I know He's telling me how much He loves me, I'm just waiting for that day when I will be completely unashamed and confident to jump up on His lap.




It has been hard, in some ways, thinking about the Father aspect of God. I have pushed the thoughts about my dad to the back of my mind, trying to ignore them, but I have decided to do that no longer. I said in some ways before though because God has been a wonderful Father to me and been there in ways that my earthly father couldn't, I just want to discover more about that aspect of God and to be able to just run and embrace Him.

Joy. Unspeakable Joy.

Inexplicable joy...

There is no other feeling like it.

Knowing that God has something planned for you, something bigger than yourself, and all you can do is hold on and watch God work through you. It's amazing.

God has showered His love and blessings on me and I just don't know what to do. I'm gonna share this love, is what I'm gonna do.

It's like this past Sunday when I was covered in prayer by the youth group at my church. As soon as Bill announced it, people crowded in to lay hands on me. And I could hear prayers coming from every direction. It was absolutely incredible. I love those kids and I am so blessed to have so many people supporting me and loving me.

I will never be the same because of the people that God has placed in my path.

It is not just the monetary blessings that have helped me... there have been so many thoughtful acts that people have done. Providing me with meals, thinking about the things that I may need or love to take with me, and of course the prayers.... I have been showered in prayer. From the time I got to Hope Chapel, up until this point, I have been covered by prayer. I love it! I am so blessed and I owe it all to Jesus. I am ready to go spread His name and His love! So, ready!

Wait.

Just thought I'd share a little something this morning that God showed me.

I have learned a little something from my dog. I thought it was a little tiresome that he follows me around EVERYWHERE, but God told me "I want you to be like that. Follow me. Don't just follow me, walk beside me. And don't jump ahead. Trust me. Wait on me." I remembered as Boomer would try to anticipate my moves and jump up on the couch if he thought that's where I was headed. I remember that God is always with me, but I have to stay with Him and trust in Him.

Outpour.

For a long time I had struggled with my thoughts and started to believe the lies that I never had salvation. A lot of that was me not fully understanding God's love and the fact that I do not have to work for salvation. My mind couldn't grasp the concept that it was done and paid for once and for all at the cross. I thought that I had to try to be holy, not understanding that it was in God's presence that I am made whole. I was forgetting that Jesus paid the price so that I may be blameless in His sight. I was striving thinking that salvation was of my own merit when, after all, it is by God's grace that I am saved.

As I prayed with my friends tonight, I saw this image of a sandcastle with walls and a heart inside. First it was just four walls with water (or love) pouring in, seeping through the walls. Then I pictured a sandcastle, the walls disintegrating as God's grace like the ocean flowed in. I can't help but think about God's love and how it overtakes us... wiping away all worries and concerns.

I know that there are barriers and mindsets God wants to tear down in my life. It's happening... I am just praying for outpour and more of Him.

Yeezu... obulamu.

Beautiful Africa...

In most people's minds when Africa is mentioned, there is a picture of struggle and poverty. And though there are those negative connotations, it is almost impossible to forget that African smile. The great big grin of white teeth, like snow caps of rocky mountains contrasted against rich, dark skin.

I will never forget the smiles I saw today. The children grinned with joy as they sang. And when they spoke, they spoke with confidence; like none I had seen before from people in their circumstance. That was just it... what gave them the ability to stand in front of hundreds of people and share about their life?

As they sang, some heads raised towards the ceiling, some eyes closed with a hand raised and the most beautiful sound was lifted to heaven,
the song of children praising their God
... for He had set them free.

Once again, I felt my heart being tugged towards rebuilding Africa... and more specifically, helping the Ugandan children. I can't explain why I feel so drawn to that place but I know that God wants to do something with me there. I couldn't help but cry when I saw how many lives had been changed through the love of God shared to these children by many mentors and leaders at Watoto. Watoto is a community that was started in Uganda to help give the children a chance at a better life and a better future. I am so thrilled at the thought of a new generation rising up to be better leaders. And I wonder how many children are missing that love and compassion that they should be getting... We, as the leaders now, need to step up in our communities and show the youth the example of Christ and make sure that we are being love; the unfailing, patient and enduring love that comes from God above.

Every time I hear the words "beautiful Africa" now emotions are stirred. I want that to be the way people everywhere will describe it. I want that to be the first thing that a person thinks about the continent and its people. And as one boy said, "I say beautiful Africa because of Jesus..." He has given life abundant. It doesn't matter how desolate things may seem, with Jesus life is abundant and fruitful... full of hope. We are blessed to have a Savior and King like Him... there is no other.

I can feel it coming...

restoration... a rebuilding of who I am... it's who I've been all along; it's just that I didn't realize how much of it had been hidden and for so long.

Going to YWAM Charlotte this afternoon and spending time with my new family helped me a lot. I got to hear stories about how God had transformed their lives and I got excited envisioning what God had for mine.

My mom talked with them about how she had seen my life being rebuilt. And, afterwards, she told me that she would almost cry when she thought about the fact that it seemed like my dreams died at one point. She was referring to the year when I was diagnosed with a health condition. And it was true. I felt my dreams dissolve before me. I was no longer like any other teen. I had to carefully watch my stressload; and, yes, everyone has stress but I could barely handle daily routine at that point. I lost touch with a lot of my friends and spent most of my time at home. And later it was hard for me to hold jobs again.

But I wasn't going to give up. I was convinced that I was just like any other teen and that God was not through with me yet. I began to pray about my health and tried to stay encouraged and keep my friends praying for me. I would tell them just how I felt and what was going on. There is no better way for someone to know what to pray for than being completely open and honest. I have learned that along the way. There is nothing more that the enemy wants when you are feeling down than for you to hold it all in. When we share with our brothers and sisters and let them know what to pray for, strongholds are broken down and weights are lifted. There is definitely power in prayer and I can testify to that.

And what happened when I prayed?

I began to see restoration. It wasn't always instantly and, don't get me wrong, there is a such thing as an instant answer to prayer; but I began to see a change. I think that there is something about when we pray... it's that surrendering to God, recognizing that He is the answer, and regaining your focus on Him that allows us to see His hand more and more in the things around us.

And now... I am excited for the things to come. I know that something big is going to happen. I know there is going to be breakthrough, big time. A lot of the things that God has been working with me on were brought up tonight as I talked with the staff at YWAM. Brittany shared something with me that brought me a lot of hope and excitement. God is going to do something major in my life and I can't wait to see how He uses it in the lives of others around me. I know that pottery probably doesn't know about the way it's being molded and shaped, but sometimes I think I catch a glimpse of a thumb sweeping down to wipe away a scratch or bump and I know that I'm in loving hands.