Yeezu... obulamu.

Beautiful Africa...

In most people's minds when Africa is mentioned, there is a picture of struggle and poverty. And though there are those negative connotations, it is almost impossible to forget that African smile. The great big grin of white teeth, like snow caps of rocky mountains contrasted against rich, dark skin.

I will never forget the smiles I saw today. The children grinned with joy as they sang. And when they spoke, they spoke with confidence; like none I had seen before from people in their circumstance. That was just it... what gave them the ability to stand in front of hundreds of people and share about their life?

As they sang, some heads raised towards the ceiling, some eyes closed with a hand raised and the most beautiful sound was lifted to heaven,
the song of children praising their God
... for He had set them free.

Once again, I felt my heart being tugged towards rebuilding Africa... and more specifically, helping the Ugandan children. I can't explain why I feel so drawn to that place but I know that God wants to do something with me there. I couldn't help but cry when I saw how many lives had been changed through the love of God shared to these children by many mentors and leaders at Watoto. Watoto is a community that was started in Uganda to help give the children a chance at a better life and a better future. I am so thrilled at the thought of a new generation rising up to be better leaders. And I wonder how many children are missing that love and compassion that they should be getting... We, as the leaders now, need to step up in our communities and show the youth the example of Christ and make sure that we are being love; the unfailing, patient and enduring love that comes from God above.

Every time I hear the words "beautiful Africa" now emotions are stirred. I want that to be the way people everywhere will describe it. I want that to be the first thing that a person thinks about the continent and its people. And as one boy said, "I say beautiful Africa because of Jesus..." He has given life abundant. It doesn't matter how desolate things may seem, with Jesus life is abundant and fruitful... full of hope. We are blessed to have a Savior and King like Him... there is no other.

I can feel it coming...

restoration... a rebuilding of who I am... it's who I've been all along; it's just that I didn't realize how much of it had been hidden and for so long.

Going to YWAM Charlotte this afternoon and spending time with my new family helped me a lot. I got to hear stories about how God had transformed their lives and I got excited envisioning what God had for mine.

My mom talked with them about how she had seen my life being rebuilt. And, afterwards, she told me that she would almost cry when she thought about the fact that it seemed like my dreams died at one point. She was referring to the year when I was diagnosed with a health condition. And it was true. I felt my dreams dissolve before me. I was no longer like any other teen. I had to carefully watch my stressload; and, yes, everyone has stress but I could barely handle daily routine at that point. I lost touch with a lot of my friends and spent most of my time at home. And later it was hard for me to hold jobs again.

But I wasn't going to give up. I was convinced that I was just like any other teen and that God was not through with me yet. I began to pray about my health and tried to stay encouraged and keep my friends praying for me. I would tell them just how I felt and what was going on. There is no better way for someone to know what to pray for than being completely open and honest. I have learned that along the way. There is nothing more that the enemy wants when you are feeling down than for you to hold it all in. When we share with our brothers and sisters and let them know what to pray for, strongholds are broken down and weights are lifted. There is definitely power in prayer and I can testify to that.

And what happened when I prayed?

I began to see restoration. It wasn't always instantly and, don't get me wrong, there is a such thing as an instant answer to prayer; but I began to see a change. I think that there is something about when we pray... it's that surrendering to God, recognizing that He is the answer, and regaining your focus on Him that allows us to see His hand more and more in the things around us.

And now... I am excited for the things to come. I know that something big is going to happen. I know there is going to be breakthrough, big time. A lot of the things that God has been working with me on were brought up tonight as I talked with the staff at YWAM. Brittany shared something with me that brought me a lot of hope and excitement. God is going to do something major in my life and I can't wait to see how He uses it in the lives of others around me. I know that pottery probably doesn't know about the way it's being molded and shaped, but sometimes I think I catch a glimpse of a thumb sweeping down to wipe away a scratch or bump and I know that I'm in loving hands.

With love, He calls to you...

I see His face before me. A calm, yet piercing gaze staring back at me.

It's as if I could reach out and touch Him.

I don't remember how many times I have been told that Jesus was right in front of me, but I know it's enough for me to be assured that He's not going anywhere. And tonight, something hit me as my mom told me, " I feel as though I could reach out and touch His hand."

We talked about how many times God had provided for us in the recent past. All little reminders of His love. There was not a time where we started to worry, whether it was about where we were supposed to be in life or something more concrete like furniture, when He did not show up. It is so true when they say: "All things are in His hands". And while we sit in His hands, I can't help but wonder what it would be like to look up and see Him looking down on us. I can almost hear Him singing with joy on His lips.

And more personally, not just with my family, I have seen God at work in my life. In this time of trusting Him financially, I remembered when I gave $5 and on the same night received $100 from someone I just met. I remember Him healing me in the hospital, and continually restoring my health. And besides the more miraculous, He covers me with protection, wakes me up every morning and provides for me with all I need and more. Isn't that a miracle in itself, that God can take care of me with such detail and still take the same precise care of all the other people around the world.

I sit on the sidelines and watch Him at work in other people's lives as well. As my mom was saying, she saw how her unfurnished apartment was filled with furniture within a matter of weeks. It was to the point that we had to give furniture away. I have also watched as every time we thought we might be in a financial bind, my mom received an award at work or a check. 

I know my God is amazing and that there is none that can compare.

And though sometimes He has to get in front of me, to say, "I am with you, Sarah... Don't be afraid."

I know that He is here...

A masterpiece awaits...

photo credit: Kaitlyn Suter
I am staring at a display screen, watching as children laugh and run after the team. This is how I have spent most of my time on the trip... viewing life through a lens. As things unfold, I sit back and observe the events going on around me. A while back I would have objected to being the quiet one who merely watched everything happen instead of talking and entertaining, but now I see why I am the way that I am. I would much rather enjoy capturing memories, storing them and piecing them together in such a way that it tells a whole new story. The art of storytelling requires a creativity and care that I have carried with me since I was a child. But, while I love to imagine, I still prefer the authenticity of real life events. There is something about being able to show stories that people may not know about, stories that are true, crying for someone to listen.

photo credit: Kaitlyn Suter

There is also something about the interview process that draws me to documentary work. Sitting down and creating a conversation with a person is always enjoyable, but drawing out a story that he or she may have not even known existed is something completely different. It's like an artist with a palette full of the most splendid colors... the colors are there, but they haven't been put together yet. It takes a few strokes and a little blending to do the touch.

I enjoy what I do, though capturing the footage may cause an overwhelming feeling when the time comes to film and the routine and difficulty of the editing process may become rough. I take each project as a learning experience, knowing that I will face situations that may be tough, but will be ones that I can take valuable experience from.

Stop... and listen.

 Part of this process is the fundraising... every YWAM participant, even the founder raised support. It's part of that relying on God and seeing His provision and how he works through people and situations. Part of the process is also discovering more about who I am and my identity in Christ. I have been thinking a lot now about how God has brought me this far and how I could not have done any of this without Him. I wrote a script for a video to put on my fundraising page and couldn't use it all because it had to be tailored for a video, but it sums up a lot of what is going on.

Here's a little preview of the video to come:

When I was younger I never wanted to be a firefighter or a ballerina. I dreamed of swimming with dolphins and being a musician.  Never would I have thought that I would do anything any differently… but God had plans for me. I was called to be behind the lens, to document, to observe and capture life’s big moments.

There came a point where I was through with seeing only what the television showed me. I knew that there was a reality, a harshness of life that I was fortunate enough to never have experienced.

I want to broaden my perspective.

I want to tell people’s stories, stories of struggle and hope, stories that need to be told.

I want to call people to action with these stories.

Then maybe people everywhere will …stop… stop the business of daily life for just one moment to listen.

And maybe that listening will turn into a burden, a burden for those who are hurting, one that will not be satisfied until we see the end of wars and hungry children fed, and kids who aren’t afraid to sleep at night out of fear that someone will harm them.

That is why I am going to Youth With A Mission this March to study media and learn about all the stories that touch God’s heart and the ones that capture His character.

Look back... And see how good He has been.

My journey began when I started the book "Is That Really You God?" as part of my reading for the school. As I sat flipping through stories of the Cunningham family's lives, I saw that sometimes it is harder to realize how God is working in your life without getting the bird's eye view. Sometimes we need to be removed from a situation to see the impact that it has made. Looking back on my own life so far I have seen how I, myself, have heard from God. Yet, I began to wonder what would happen if I decided to truly press in and hear from the Lord. Not to be satisfied with a short conversation with God.

I have decided that I will give the Creator of the Universe His turn to speak. Don't I think that He knows a thing or two about life. After all, who am I??

And, He is the one who gives me life. Without God, I am nothing. Why do I choose to take matters into my own hands, instead of trusting the one who gave me life: formed and created me, then gave me the opportunity to live eternally with Him?

Of course, my day didn't end without these points being reiterated. I had a conversation with my mom about life and how God has an ultimate plan. We discussed how even when we don't choose to listen intently to God, He still guides us. And I have seen that even when it feels like we mess up, God draws all the pieces together that seemed broken and out of place. I heard it said that he always has a redemptive plan for us. How awesome is that?! In striving to do His will, if we mess up He will always be there. In fact, have we really messed up? Sometimes the things we go through teach us valuable lessons and help us grow stronger and closer with the Lord.

So, be encouraged! Know that you can always get back up when you feel like you've been knocked down. And that there is a plan and purpose for your life. We worship a faithful and loving God.