Friday, January 18, 2013

I can feel it coming...

restoration... a rebuilding of who I am... it's who I've been all along; it's just that I didn't realize how much of it had been hidden and for so long.

Going to YWAM Charlotte this afternoon and spending time with my new family helped me a lot. I got to hear stories about how God had transformed their lives and I got excited envisioning what God had for mine.

My mom talked with them about how she had seen my life being rebuilt. And, afterwards, she told me that she would almost cry when she thought about the fact that it seemed like my dreams died at one point. She was referring to the year when I was diagnosed with a health condition. And it was true. I felt my dreams dissolve before me. I was no longer like any other teen. I had to carefully watch my stressload; and, yes, everyone has stress but I could barely handle daily routine at that point. I lost touch with a lot of my friends and spent most of my time at home. And later it was hard for me to hold jobs again.

But I wasn't going to give up. I was convinced that I was just like any other teen and that God was not through with me yet. I began to pray about my health and tried to stay encouraged and keep my friends praying for me. I would tell them just how I felt and what was going on. There is no better way for someone to know what to pray for than being completely open and honest. I have learned that along the way. There is nothing more that the enemy wants when you are feeling down than for you to hold it all in. When we share with our brothers and sisters and let them know what to pray for, strongholds are broken down and weights are lifted. There is definitely power in prayer and I can testify to that.

And what happened when I prayed?

I began to see restoration. It wasn't always instantly and, don't get me wrong, there is a such thing as an instant answer to prayer; but I began to see a change. I think that there is something about when we pray... it's that surrendering to God, recognizing that He is the answer, and regaining your focus on Him that allows us to see His hand more and more in the things around us.

And now... I am excited for the things to come. I know that something big is going to happen. I know there is going to be breakthrough, big time. A lot of the things that God has been working with me on were brought up tonight as I talked with the staff at YWAM. Brittany shared something with me that brought me a lot of hope and excitement. God is going to do something major in my life and I can't wait to see how He uses it in the lives of others around me. I know that pottery probably doesn't know about the way it's being molded and shaped, but sometimes I think I catch a glimpse of a thumb sweeping down to wipe away a scratch or bump and I know that I'm in loving hands.

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