How have I grown and changed since I have been on outreach, or going back even further, since DTS?
Before, I had been so engrossed in insecurity and fear that I didn't realize how that was affecting my every action. Then God began to speak to me with the words he used for many people in the Bible: "Be strong and courageous." And He added, "Be bold." But what did being bold look like? I learned that, for me, that may be a little different. It didn't necessarily mean being loud all the time, but, rather, was a stepping out even when fear rose up. It meant not being afraid to do things even when others may think it crazy. It meant not backing down.
Part of being strong was this process of beginning to see myself the way that God saw me. Now, I can begin to look past myself, past the insecurity and love others the way that God loves them.
This last week of outreach I want to live to the fullest potential. I want to set the cadence for how I will walk out life on campus and past that. I feel God leading me to the place where "my trust is without borders", when He'll say anything and I'll jump to do what He says; when, instead of counting the cost, I count it all joy.
I have decided that I am not going to go "back to the way that things used to be before His Presence came and changed me". I am moving forward and never looking back.
Hey! Yes I know it's late. Got a little insomnia. It was a busy day and I've found it hard to wine down for some reason. Then I thought about your blog you mentioned. I enjoyed talking with you and hearing how the Lord has blessed you with missionary work over seas.
ReplyDelete"Engrossed in security and fear that I didn't realize how that was affecting my every action"
That speaks volumes for me! That is exactly how I felt at your age. But...I let my fear and a need for security, keep me from so many opportunities. It appears you are overcoming this battle. I look forward to reading more about your spiritual journey. Take care!
Angela,